STUPID ME

hahahaha... "STUPID ME" a lot of things are clouding my mind lately, and yet its hard for me to get over it.
I know I was deceived by my emotion. My brain's control was overshadowed by my feelings. An emotion for the wrong person at the wrong time and wrong place. I was stupid and I admit it. Although it hurts me but I guess its the best way to make things alright... How can I move on when I can't see anything clear in the road ahead of me... I "STUPID ME" and I guess its only time who can heal me now.

No facebook, no social networking, no social inter-action and stop being nice to everyone might be the best start for me to pass over all these stuffs. SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SUMMER's BEST

Summer, 2008 – Chances made her closer and closer to me. I have all the chance in hand to tell her everything yet hindrances permit me not to. And I feel so stupid making the wrong decision I ever have.

          Thesis time was a privileged for me. Aside from being one of my team mates, she turns to be my closest and best ever friend I have. Although we were used to it, but this time we will be sleeping together on the same mat, on the same tent for duration of almost two months in the field. And it was a breath taking experience with her. It seems like I won the most expensive item in the universe that anyone could imagine.

          On my first night with her, I barely sleep maybe of the excitement to do my first fieldwork on the next day or maybe because a lot of things clouded my mind. I feel like I have a sort of burst of emotions. It was very dark that I couldn’t even see my other teammates. Fog made the whole place very cold. And all you can hear at night were the unending calls of frogs and crickets with few hooting of birds. I was really conscious of my movement that I appear sleeping like a log; very straight and stiff. And on that very first time I started to feel different about her. Very, very different and I think no words can explain and express what it was. My heart pumps so fast and loud that I even hear it louder than the calls of the frog. She’s always running my mind. I have been thinking about her which causes me to wake up from time to time. And eventually it results me to have dreams about her. She is all I got and having her would mean a lot different for me.

          By the time we started to work in the field, we got busy and exhausted. Yet every time I am with her, days seems to be long enough for us to be together in the wilderness. Being with her, climbing to the peak of the mountain appears to be a piece of cake. Night sampling in the river turns to be full of fun catching toads and frogs and looking for snakes and lizards. Having someone special with you, watching how beautiful Mother Nature was really a great and treasured experience. I feel happy and satisfied that I was there with her when she first experience seeing a mossy forest, when she first experience horse back riding, when she first catch her first snake, when she experience catching fireflies at night, when she first experience chasing on monitor lizard, when she first eat frog’s and wild bore’s meat and most of all I was there when she experience some of the best thing that happens to her.